Here’s the flip side of Authors Honest Reactions to Bad Book Reviews post. This one is for the readers, because, let’s face it, authors are human and they make mistakes too. And yes, sometimes a book needs a fecking DNF review. It’s all in fun, so enjoy.
Authors, listen up. (Culled from thousands of reviews around the web.)
1. Labelled Erotic Romance/Fiction
But the sex be like. WTF?!
2. Author asks for an ‘honest’ review
Or an ego stroke. When you give your honest opinion, they hate.
3. Bizarre adjectives in sex scenes
Instead of, you know, utilizing actual writing ability.
4. The plot hole
It’s not a hole. It’s a tunnel straight to the hell of WTF am I reading here anyway?
5. This author
It’s not about the writing, ever.
6. The sequel sucks
You’ve waited patiently (for like fecking ever) and now you’re like
7. The unexpected plot twist
Which completely defies fecking reality (even in a fantasy novel)
8. S/he is about to kill your fav character
You’ve invested your damn life here. Can’t the author see that?!
9. Describes EVERYTHING
in copious fecking detail
10. Blurb does NOT match
You thought you purchased a Gone with the Wind but got Hairy Big Hotties instead.
