Honest Reader Reactions to Bad Books

Here’s the flip side of  Authors Honest Reactions to Bad Book Reviews post. This one is for the readers, because, let’s face it, authors are human and they make mistakes too. And yes, sometimes a book needs a fecking DNF review. It’s all in fun, so enjoy.

Authors, listen up. (Culled from thousands of reviews around the web.)

 

1. Labelled Erotic Romance/Fiction

But the sex be like. WTF?!

2. Author asks for an ‘honest’ review

Or an ego stroke. When you give your honest opinion, they hate.

 

3. Bizarre adjectives in sex scenes

Instead of, you know, utilizing actual writing ability.

4. The plot hole

It’s not a hole. It’s a tunnel straight to the hell of WTF am I reading here anyway?

5. This author

It’s not about the writing, ever.

6. The sequel sucks

You’ve waited patiently (for like fecking ever) and now you’re like

7. The unexpected plot twist

Which completely defies fecking reality (even in a fantasy novel)

8. S/he is about to kill your fav character

You’ve invested your damn life here. Can’t the author see that?!

9. Describes EVERYTHING

in copious fecking detail

10. Blurb does NOT match

You thought you purchased a Gone with the Wind but got Hairy Big Hotties instead.