rendered like a stillness
in the eyes
where it flashes
its teeth
a full skeleton
under all we do
Brandon's Musings
You don’t let my conscience sleep
The title of this post reflects an email I received from a fan after he read The Value Of Rain.
And while I very much appreciated the sentiment behind his words, I never wrote Rain to do anything other than make people think and feel. As one recent reviewer wrote “If you are looking for something light to read, then The Value of Rain isn’t for you, but if you want to read a story that will wrench your heart and make you feel something, then give it a go.”
And please don’t misunderstand, because I enjoy escapist writing as much as anyone else. I’m a massive sci-fi fan and will quickly chomp down a series like a fat greasy cheeseburger, licking my finders and all!
But when atrocities come close to home; when you become witness to suffering that you could never imagine, then a voice must be made, a voice must heard. The Value Of Rain is a voice; the voice of people I knew and of things they suffered. It’s also voice of my own conscience trying to deal with the horrifying sorrow of what they felt comfortable talking with me about. And yes, several of the characters in the book are/were real people; some of the most humorous and some of the most tragic. I will leave you to decide for yourself which are real and which are fictional, and will not discuss that further. [Read more…] about You don’t let my conscience sleep
How Writing Makes a Difference
Two Steps Beyond Prose
Words are power. Anyone who is a writer, or a speaker, knows this instinctively; as do those that try to suppress the words they don’t agree with.
Words can change geography, nations, politics and move an entire people to action. But sometimes it is those small changes; those seemingly insignificant burst of prose that make a difference and touch lives that you, as a writer, will never know about or see. Two steps beyond your prose is an action, a caress, a thought that changes even the smallest part of history and you may never know that impact. [Read more…] about How Writing Makes a Difference
Stepping Up to Bullying
There’s been a lot of discussion about bullying in the recent weeks since Jamey Rodemeyers death. Once again, it is in the international spotlight after a tragedy that should have never happened. As offline and online communities (of all ages) step up to the plate and tackle the issue I am especially heartened to see the youth of the world move to make changes within their own environment.
As a parent, I knew that I could not police my sons’ actions all the time, nor be there to protect them every single minute of their lives, and so it falls to those whom we seek to protect to take action with the full knowledge that we support them in their endeavors to aid those people less able to help themselves. Teaching them respect for all is a great part of that, but teaching them by example is an even greater part.
So there is also a point where we, as adults, must step forward beyond our own homes and say NO, this is not how you treat people.
I saw a shining example of that this morning and wanted to share it with you. Ali you have my utmost respect.
Sometimes a few words is all it takes to change a life.
Friendships Lost?
Gay Friendships with Christians
It has been an interesting week of self reflection.
In the beginning of last week I lost a gay friend of over twenty years (via email) who suddenly decided that he was not gay (and no longer my friend) and was going to get married to a woman. He’s been a Christian his entire life and has struggled with his sexuality forever. This loss bothered me more than I can simply put into words here. I was angry, very angry. I immediately wanted to send him off a tirade on his hypocrisy and ignorance and spew as many other hateful things as I could think of to lessen the my own pain.
And this is really what we do as people, we look for a target outside of ourselves where we can lay blame and lessen the emotional impact upon ourselves. In reality, what I was fighting was NOT his decision, but the fact that after twenty years he didn’t think I would support his decision and do what I could to help him in his new life. Somehow his lack of faith in our long friendship made me a failure, and that alone was what my anger was really about; my own self doubt. Had my friendship been so lacking? Had I done or said something that would make him think this? Did I say something hateful against his wife, or all females at some point in our past? The list of questions and the doubt went on and on, until finally I just sat with it. [Read more…] about Friendships Lost?
On Being A Gay Dad
As I explore twitter and other mediums I get some interesting comments and questions about being a gay parent. The irony is that I was doing it long before it got headlines and rallies for rights, or before it was “cool”. My children are grown, in college and have solid careers ahead. (And, because the question is often unspoken but asked, they are both straight).
I honestly don’t understand the “cool” which has notably come from gay teens that I’ve spoken to. I guess the assumption there is that things would be different in their own households if they had a gay parent. As if somehow having gay parent meant that they wouldn’t get grounded or get their backside whupped for extreme stupidity, or get nagged about getting chores and homework done. I DO understand the rejection from a straight parent though, all too well, so I can empathize even as I chuckle at being ‘cool’ suddenly at this stage of my life.
But for me, I was simply a father, a single dad. There was nothing extraordinary about our life. Times were different and I shielded them from the bigotry and hatred that they would receive through no fault of their own. I made no qualms about it then and don’t now, simply because I was one of those parents likely to stomp the shit out of you if I perceived you as a threat to my children. Still am, I guess.
One of my fondest memories was watching The Birdcage with them. We all laughed at the extremes, and of course, I and my witty commentary made sure as we watched it that they understood: “See, it could be worse.”
All I got back was, “Oh dad.”
Maybe I was a bit cool? Dunno.