Brandon

PRIDE FOR YOUTH – SAVING LIVES IN THE SUBURBS

September 21, 2011 By Brandon Leave a Comment

Guest post by by Andrew J. Peters

Pride for Youth is a not-for-profit organization that is a service and an advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) teenagers. Located in Bellmore, NY, fifteen miles east of New York City, Pride for Youth serves Long Island, an area that is geographically diffuse and densely populated. The mission of the agency is to enhance the health, wellness and cultural competency of LGBT youth through education, supportive services and youth development.

It’s a cause that has been a central part of my personal and professional development. I started working there as a social work intern in 1994. As a fledgling initiative, we offered a safe place where kids could gather on a Sunday afternoon, and school-based LGBT-sensitivity workshops to outreach to isolated teens and combat prejudice and bullying.

Friendships Lost?

September 19, 2011 By Brandon Leave a Comment

Gay Friendships with Christians

It has been an interesting week of self reflection.

In the beginning of last week I lost a gay friend of over twenty years (via email) who suddenly decided that he was not gay (and no longer my friend) and was going to get married to a woman. He’s been a Christian his entire life and has struggled with his sexuality forever. This loss bothered me more than I can simply put into words here. I was angry, very angry. I immediately wanted to send him off a tirade on his hypocrisy and ignorance and spew as many other hateful things as I could think of to lessen the my own pain.

And this is really what we do as people, we look for a target outside of ourselves where we can lay blame and lessen the emotional impact upon ourselves. In reality, what I was fighting was NOT his decision, but the fact that after twenty years he didn’t think I would support his decision and do what I could to help him in his new life. Somehow his lack of faith in our long friendship made me a failure, and that alone was what my anger was really about; my own self doubt. Had my friendship been so lacking? Had I done or said something that would make him think this? Did I say something hateful against his wife, or all females at some point in our past? The list of questions and the doubt went on and on, until finally I just sat with it. [Read more…] about Friendships Lost?

On Being A Gay Dad

September 12, 2011 By Brandon 2 Comments

As I explore twitter and other mediums I get some interesting comments and questions about being a gay parent. The irony is that I was doing it long before it got headlines and rallies for rights, or before it was “cool”. My children are grown, in college and have solid careers ahead. (And, because the question is often unspoken but asked, they are both straight).

I honestly don’t understand the “cool” which has notably come from gay teens that I’ve spoken to. I guess the assumption there is that things would be different in their own households if they had a gay parent. As if somehow having gay parent meant that they wouldn’t get grounded or get their backside whupped for extreme stupidity, or get nagged about getting chores and homework done. I DO understand the rejection from a straight parent though, all too well, so I can empathize even as I chuckle at being ‘cool’ suddenly at this stage of my life.

But for me, I was simply a father, a single dad. There was nothing extraordinary about our life. Times were different and I shielded them from the bigotry and hatred that they would receive through no fault of their own. I made no qualms about it then and don’t now, simply because I was one of those parents likely to stomp the shit out of you if I perceived you as a threat to my children. Still am, I guess.

One of my fondest memories was watching The Birdcage with them. We all laughed at the extremes, and of course, I and my witty commentary made sure as we watched it that they understood: “See, it could be worse.”

All I got back was, “Oh dad.”

Maybe I was a bit cool? Dunno.

My Left Shoe

September 7, 2011 By Brandon Leave a Comment

My Left Shoe – A Poem

My left shoe is squeaking

talking gibberish about the sole

of the long day;

how it tied the world in knots

and left our tongues wagging.

The thing about poetry, and all prose, is that a single word or silly thought can spark someone’s imagination. I jotted this down after I saw a post on Twitter . The original post was My left shoe is squeaky.