I came across this little gem (below) in the comments section on a site about youth suicide. I won’t provide a link here simply because it didn’t offer any links for suicide prevention or counseling, and for me, it seemed to have a feeling of promoting suicide more than preventing it. That said, the ‘logic’ of the post below caught me off guard and the assumption it made even more so. See what you think:
“I have to admit, I do think the gay culture is NOT normal. I think it is a sin. But I also have dipped my toe into that pool. That is why I believe it IS a choice. We may have tendencies to go that way. But it IS a choice. But, I did not mean to get all preachy. So with that being said…” (and it continues with an offer of support and friendship. Emphasis mine.)
So the erroneous (and obnoxious) assumption here is that because a straight man once tested the waters of his potentially gay inner self, that must mean being gay is a choice for all men and women. Thus sexual experimentation becomes defacto the definition for the inner turmoil and mind set of what it means to be gay for every other human on the planet. The arrogance of that kind of thought process bothers me more than it probably should.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I didn’t suddenly wake up one day and decide I needed someone’s penis to make me happy. It was never about what they had between their legs. It was an attraction to the whole person, to the male physique, to the musculature and beauty of men. It wasn’t that I didn’t find women beautiful, it was that I wasn’t attracted to women on a level that went deeply beneath the skin and the sex.
Logic has never been a part of homophobia, so let me give some advice to all you straight boys who fear your secret might come out. Don’t worry, sexual experimentation doesn’t make you gay, it’s just a part of life. But your fear of ridicule and exposure over a natural part of growing up doesn’t make gay a ‘choice’ either.
Maybe one day we will evolve as a society enough to simply say, Yeah, tried that, wasn’t for me and move on.